Life will not let me live

Recently I had someone say to me, “You are so calm and nothing upsets you. How do you get to a guy like that?” I just smiled and sat quietly. If he doesn’t know, I’m not going to tell him. Many things get to me and in fact, often life just will not let me live.


I grew-up around large bodies of water, the Chesapeake Bay and Atlantic ocean. I’ve been fortunate enough to have swam in both sides of it. Swimming in the ocean has a healing affect on me. It centers me and helps me understand my place in the universe.

While driving across country many years ago, I came to the realization that I am not a mountain person. I was a young man with a fast two-seater sports car and I knew I could drive straight through the Apalache and Blue Ridge Mountains, nonstop. I entered the mountains at top speed and they swallowed me whole. Every time I drove through a bend in the road, I was sure I would be at the beginning of the end of those damn mountains. I pushed hard, but the universe conspired against me. It placed deer and tracker trailer trucks in front of me and slowed me to a crawl. I cursed those damn mountains because they made me feel so small and insignificant. Epiphany, in the grand scheme of things, in the universe, everything is insignificant.

Now I have understanding of my love of the ocean. It makes me realize how insignificant an individual is. I think we only gain significants when we become apart of the whole Universe. What happens to you, happens to me. So I don’t sweat the small stuff. I rarely let individual problems dominate me. I have become more concerned with what is happening to all of us. Mistreatment of people gets to me, not taking care of our troops gets to me. If you hate me for my race or friends or lifestyle, that’s your problem, not mine.

Often, life will not let me live. Life has shown me so many wonders that I’m not complaining. Life has given me a loving family and many good friends. Life is tangible and sometimes slaps you in the face or gives you a helping hand. I’ve flown on an airplane with an engine smoking, been rescued by a Preacher from a snow storm and given a ride home by a police officer that pick me up off the side of the road (after my car broke down) while drunk off my ass. Call it divine intervention, karma, or just damn luck, but life has shown me too many times that it is always ready to lend a hand if you take the time to look for it. Don’t sweat the small stuff because life will take care of that.


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