Archive for January, 2007


Landsharks, BOB, and Vista

V-day (Vista) is almost upon us and here we go again with the knock knock at the door. Microsoft is once again promising a bigger and shinier OS that we are going to just love. Sounds a lot like a Landsharks to me. Or worst yet, it could be BOB. For those of you to young to remember Landsharks and BOB, here’s a quick review.

Landsharks were these Saturday Night Live made-up Shark creatures that lived on land and knocked on peoples doors, pretending to be anything but a Landshark. When people opened the door, they would eat them. BOB was a lot worst. BOB was a new user friendly OS release by Micorsoft. Microsoft Bob was released in March 1995 as an entirely different adventure game-like OS interface/shell. BOB is considered Microsoft’s worst program and their biggest failure.

Will Vista be a hit or a flop? Time will only tell. But, I am going to wait it out. I just can’t bring myself to shell out $400 bucks just to get the Blue Screen of Death. Besides, it took me this long to tweak XP to work the way I like and play nice with all my stuff. I love to game online and you can usually find me slaying monsters as CZar ChecMate in Guild Wars on the weekends. This online hobby of mines requires that I get the beefed-up network version of Vista ($400) if I want to avoid networking headaches down the road. Besides, with XP, OS X, Ubunto, and maybe a surprise OS from Google, there are plenty less costly alternatives to Vista.


Typical Landshark Skit form SNL

[Scene: A New York apartment. Someone knocks on the door.]

Woman: [not opening the door] Yes?

Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Arlsburgerhhh?

Woman: What?

Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Johannesburrrr?

Woman: Who is it?

Voice: [pause] Flowers.

Woman: Flowers? From whom?

Voice: [long pause] Plumber, ma’am.

Woman: I don’t need a plumber. You’re that clever shark, aren’t you?

Voice: [pause] Candygram.

Woman: Candygram, my foot. Get out of here before I call the proper authorities. You’re the shark, and you know it.

Voice: I’m only a harmless dolphin…

Woman: A dolphin? Well…okay. [opens door]

[Huge latex and foam-rubber shark head lunges through open door, chomps down on woman’s head, and drags
her out of the apartment, all while the Jaws attack music is playing.]


Thank You Soul Brother #1

Soul Brother #1, Mr. Dynamite, The Godfather of Soul, and simply the Hardest Working Man in Showbiz. These are only a few phrases that were used to describe James Brown. My first concert was to see JB. I was about six years old and mesmerized. The thing that I have carried with me since that day was not his moves or even the music. It was the image of seeing thousands and thousands of mostly Black Americans in the sixties shouting at the top of our lungs, “Say it LOUD, I’m BLACK and I’m PROUD”! Even at six, it was electrifying.

To most of the world James Brown represented American creativity and superiority in the new musical movements of Soul, Pop, and Rock. But what James Brown represented to Black America was a Defendant Freedom Fighter that used song and music to rage against Racism and the Man. James Brown empowered Black Americans during a time when so many leaders such as Martin Luther King Jr., John F Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, and Malcolm X were taken away from us. He was the Muhammad Ali of music. Thanks for the memories Godfather and may you rest in peace.

These singles reached the top ten on either the Billboard Hot 100 or the Billboard Top R&B Singles charts.

* 1956: “Please, Please, Please” (R&B #5)
* 1959: “Try Me” (R&B #1, U.S. #48)
* 1960: “Think” (R&B #7, U.S. #33)
* 1961: “Baby, You’re Right” (R&B #2, U.S. #49)
* 1961: “Bewildered” (R&B #8, U.S. #40)
* 1961: “I Don’t Mind” (R&B #4, U.S. #47)
* 1962: “Lost Someone” (R&B #2, U.S. #48)
* 1962: “Night Train” (R&B #5, U.S. #35)
* 1963: “Prisoner of Love” (R&B #6, U.S. #18)
* 1965: “Papa’s Got a Brand New Bag” – Part I (R&B #1, U.S. #8)
* 1965: “I Got You (I Feel Good)” (R&B #1, U.S. #3)
* 1966: “Ain’t That a Groove” Pts. 1 & 2 (R&B #6, U.S. #42)
* 1966: “Don’t Be A Drop-Out” (R&B #4, U.S. #50)
* 1966: “It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World” (R&B #1, U.S. #8)
* 1966: “Sweet Little Baby Boy” – Part 1 (U.S. #8)
* 1967: “Cold Sweat” – Part 1 (R&B #1, U.S. #7)
* 1967: “Let Yourself Go” (R&B #5, U.S. #46)
* 1968: “I Can’t Stand Myself (When You Touch Me)” (R&B #4, U.S. #28)
* 1968: “I Got The Feelin'” (R&B #1, U.S. #6)
* 1968: “Licking Stick – Licking Stick” – Part 1 (R&B #2, U.S. #14)
* 1968: “Say it Loud – I’m Black and I’m Proud” – Part 1 (R&B #1, U.S. #10)
* 1968: “There Was A Time” (R&B #3, U.S. #36)
* 1969: “Ain’t It Funky Now” (R&B #3, U.S. #24)
* 1969: “Give It Up Or Turnit A Loose” (R&B #1, U.S. #15)
* 1969: “I Don’t Want Nobody To Give Me Nothing (Open Up The Door, I’ll Get It Myself)” (R&B #3, U.S. #20)
* 1969: “Let A Man Come In And Do The Popcorn” – Part One (R&B #2, U.S. #21)
* 1969: “Mother Popcorn (You Got To Have A Mother For Me)” Part 1(R&B #1, U.S. #11)
* 1970: “Get Up (I Feel Like Being Like A) Sex Machine” (Part 1)” (R&B #2, U.S. #15)
* 1970: “Santa Claus Is Definitely Here To Stay” (U.S. #7)
* 1970: “Super Bad” – Part 1 & Part 2 (R&B #1, U.S. #13)
* 1971: “Escape-ism” – Part 1 (R&B #6, U.S. #35)
* 1971: “Get Up, Get Into It, Get Involved” – Pt. 1 (R&B #4, U.S. #34)
* 1971: “Hot Pants (She Got To Use What She Got To Get What She Wants)” – Part 1 (R&B #1, U.S. #15)
* 1971: “I’m A Greedy Man” – Part I (R&B #7, U.S. #35)
* 1971: “Make It Funky” – Part 1 (R&B #1, U.S. #22)
* 1971: “Soul Power” – Pt. 1 (R&B #3, U.S. #29)
* 1972: “Get On The Good Foot” – Part 1 (R&B #1, U.S. #18)
* 1972: “King Heroin” (R&B #6, U.S. #40)
* 1972: “Talking Loud And Saying Nothing” – Part I (R&B #1, U.S. #27)
* 1973: “Down And Out In New York City” (R&B #13, U.S. #50)
* 1973: “I Got A Bag Of My Own” (R&B #3)
* 1973: “Sexy, Sexy, Sexy” (R&B #6, U.S. #50)
* 1974: “Funky President” (People It’s Bad)” (R&B #4, U.S. #44)
* 1974: “My Thang” (R&B #1, U.S. #29)
* 1974: “Papa Don’t Take No Mess” – Part I (R&B #1, U.S. #31)
* 1974: “Stoned To The Bone” – Part 1 (R&B #4, U.S. #58)
* 1974: “The Payback” – Part I (R&B #1, U.S. #26)
* 1976: “Get Up Offa That Thing” (R&B #4, U.S. #45)
* 1985: “Living in America (R&B #10, U.S. #4)
* 1987: “How Do You Stop” (R&B #10)
* 1988: “I’m Real” (R&B #2)
* 1988: “Static, Pts. 1 & 2” (with Full Force) (R&B #5)


Ordering Pizza in 2010 (Homeland Security Spicy Style)

A friend showed me this and it really hits home in a funny scary way.

This is funny, but the scary part about it is that it’s probably not too far away from being reality. Want to know how to order a pizza in 2010? Click the link and see. . turn up the volume. . . listen closely. . watch the pointer carefully!


Dead Air

In the coming days and weeks there will be many questions asked about the President’s new plan for Iraq. Although the majority of Americans are against it (61%), many of us will support it. Those that support and oppose this so-called new plan will both agree that we can not and will not let those brave soldiers and marines and sailors and airmen that have given their lives to this struggle, scarifies be in vain. Their gentle souls are Angels that walk among us now, still providing emotional comfort when we think of their love and pride for this country. Not even death can take away the honor they have bestowed upon our great nation. Now it is our turn to pay homage to these true patriots and stop this madness. We are a stronger nation because of their sacrifices and now it is time that we become a smarter nation. There is no military solution in Iraq, there is no military solution in Iraq. So why does the President want to send more troops into a no win situation?

It is my belief that the President is now sending Americans into harms way to protect his legacy. Many will find this hard to believe, but those same people believed that of President Clinton. In their eyes he only took action to protect his image, his legacy. I do not believe this of Clinton, but I have no doubt at this point in time, this is true of Bush. What is left for us to do in Iraq? Saddam is dead, the Iraq people have voted and elected a Government. Now it is time for them to govern themselves.

Would you be willing to go next door and ask your neighborhood to fight in Iraq? Could you ask your son or daughter or brother or mother or father or sister to go and fight and die in Iraq? That’s what the President is asking of us. And for what? Weapons of mass destruction, cheaper gas, Al-Qaeda, overthrowing Saddam Hussein Abd al-Majid al-Tikriti, to hunt down and kill Abu Musab al-Zarqawi? President Bush could have completely shut me up if he would have come out and said; “in January 2001 Navy Secretary Richard Danzig’s changed the status of Lt. Cmdr. Michael Scott Speicher from “killed in action” to “missing in action” in Iraq. Additional troops are needed to find Lt. Cmdr. Speicher. Dead or alive, we will bring him home”. Where is Lt. Cmdr. Michael Scott Speicher Mr President?

It is time for Bush, to for once in his life, take responsibilities for his actions. It is time to end this madness and start the healing process for our nation. Many of us heard many things in the Presidents speech. Some heard hope and promise and commitment and courage and leadership. All I heard was dead air.